a mystery has arisen

There's an "I Y U" in large friendly letters on the back window of my truck, and I really don't know who wrote it.

So now I have a mission... quest... thing.

the ol' compy chugs on

So at work the other day Beau said 'crapola.' I was like, "My mom says 'crapola.'" Then he said, "Then you have one heck-of-a cool mom then" with his 'ba-doom chsh' point and nod. It was funny to me. Maybe you just had to've been there. Or maybe it's just me.

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This Thursday there's no school. Wicked sweet awesome cool. So that night I'm going over to Chris [Meacham's] house and playing games and learnin' about/pricing computers. So if all goes well, I should have a computer w/i a couple weeks. Of course, that's what I said a few months ago. Eh, who's counting.

It will be cool when I have my own machine. I'll have to work on fixing up/modifying my desk so it will A) hold up a computer and B) have enough room for a computer while C) still remaining functional for storage and whatnot. So that's all added to the checklist.

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March 20-25: Spring Break = rock on.

Camping that weekend, 23-25 first stop for the Loungeball Tour '06.

check it: a

bite the bullet, even if you'll go down hard

"Ah, he gets on my nerves. He ignores what's not there, and..." ... "wait..."
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sometimes you say funny things when you're tired.

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it's amazing how you'll have something good to say, but when you get on to this thing, you can't think of a one a word to say.

well, while i'm happy...

I'm actually in a good mood right now, so I thought I might post, 'cause I don't know if it'll last. Why I'm actually happy is probly what you're wondering now. Well, I'm not going to tell you... ha, just kidding. First off, my history test is going to be pretty easy (i think/hope); he gave us the info we'll need and the specifics to study, so that's cool. Secondly, I found that I made second best (by only one question) on my philosophy class. That's like, a big w00t there. I also am joyously about the fact that my english class isn't bad like most are. Mr. Hunter's like, the best teacher ever.

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But... (there's always a but ain't there? that don't sound funny at all)

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There's "stuff" on my mind. Alotta stuff. Some of it's things that have always been there, always bugged me and knawed on my mind. Some old(er), some new(er). One thing that's "come up" so-to-speak is a particular person. A female person (there's a few of those, actually... girls...). It's not that I don't like her or wish her dead or anything, not at all. It's... actually, I'm not sure how to say/type what I'm trying to say. That whole not being good w/ words thing's working against me again. What I'm trying to say-- What I'm saying is... what I'm actually trying to get across is... what i'm telling you is... I'm a chick magnet. Not really, but... I've lost my train of thought. Gah, I need to sleep. I'll work all this out in my brain, and then come back and not tell you about it! Alright, it's a deal. Now I'm rambling.

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but before I go, there's something I thought you might like to know...

...I'll tell you when I remember

this is the title

"Just send me in there, and I'll run cleanup."
"Oh c'mon, just a little explosion! Five. Ten megatons tops!"
"You send me in there, all you're getting is an explosion."
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So Andy the bomb (RvB) has some funny lines sometimes.
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Well... I'm out of anything else to say, so...

cream soda

Well, things were rather weird at Blood Gulch outpost #2, aka McAlister's Deli.

I got out to my truck this morning only to find it covered in ice; dumb ice. Well, I make it to work w/o incident and start doing the normal opening routine. Then the impossible happened... I hear that unmistakable intro to Lying From You (LP)... ahh, it was music to my ears; no pun intended. Later a song by 3 Doors Down came on... The Road I'm On, I do believe. The comiseration song played too.. um, All the Small Things, Blink 182. And after that Evanescence's Going Under came on. That was all really cool. I didn't get to listen to all of Going Under 'cause that's about the time Beau and I donned our trashbag raincoats (more like, freezing rain-coats. or, sleet-coats). That was interesting. While carting the ice covered trashcans to the dumpster, I was reminded of a line of Donut's: "...you're leaving us out in the elements to DIE. This is MURDER!!"... oh RvB. Anyway. Back to McAlister's. So you'd think that w/ all the ice and snow and sleet and freezing rain, no one would be out driving, much less going out to eat... wrong. People must've been like, "Man, this is horrible driving weather. We could run off the road and die, or spin out of control and hit someone else... Let's go to McAlister's!!" To make a long story short, we didn't close early and I had to stay til 2:00 (not bad, but considering evrything, I just wanted to go home early). We kept buggin Milner about how driving conditions would be 'so horrible' and he should let us go home early so we can 'beat the worst of the storm' and that kinda stuff. He didn't buy it, but it was fun while it lasted.

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And now I'm utterly bored 'cause all my friends minus KP are in Gatlinburg. And he and I couldn't do anything w/ the conditions as they are. So pretty much he was forced to stay here 'cause of basketball and didn't get any compensation.

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Well, that's enough nonsense outta me for now.

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Be Somebody:: 3 Doors Down (the words are pretty fitting)

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The shades gone up

Mothers staring down

She don't know where he's been

Or how long he's been out

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She said 'Boy I'm tired of waiting up while your out with your friends'

He said 'Mom I'm tired and I'm living my life the best way that I can'

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Cause I'm trying to be somebody

I'm not trying to be somebody else

This life is mine I'm living

Don't you know me?

I wont ever let you down

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The day has come

The sun is moving on

She don't know where he'll go

Or when he's coming home

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She said 'Son take care, don't let your dreams get too far out of sight'

He said 'I love you now, don't worry about me you know I'll be fine'

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Cause I'm trying to be somebody

I'm not trying to be somebody else

This life is mine I'm living

Don't you know me?

I wont ever let you down

No

I'm not trying to be somebody else

Don't you know me?

I wont ever let you

I wont ever let you

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What they say

What they know

What they think wont ever bring me down

This life is mine and I am my own

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I'm trying to be somebody

I'm not trying to be somebody else

This life is mine I lead

Don't you know me?

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I'm trying to be somebody

I'm not trying to be somebody else

This life is mine I'm living

Don't you know me?

I wont ever let you down

Yeahhh

I'm not trying to be somebody else

Don't you know me?

I wont ever let you down

I wont be nobody else

This life is mine and I am my own

mojo to gogo

one pint Godiva dark chocolate ice cream + a spoon = gah, so good.
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so yeah, I've been on this pint for almost three days now; so yummy you just gotta savor it.
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I didn't have anything important to say, so I thought I might share that. Well, I do have to say that I'm officially not fond [at all] of my philosophy teacher. but that's a different story for a different time.

final destination?

almost hit/got hit by a semi['s trailer] today. want the full story, ask me; 'cause i don't really have time to type it now. it really was quite the rush.

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philosophy test tonight (i think), but i'm studying profusely in hopes that i might make a good grade if it is tonight.

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btw: austin, what's a timeframe i can call ya? i'm never sure when's good.

it's not quite dead...

...but it's seemingly getting there.

Due to recent non-exhaustive and quite uninformative polls that don't really exsist, the number of people commenting has dropped dramatically. The number of comments received to number of ppl commenting ratio is starting to equalize, being at about a 2.1/1.03 ratio. Ok, so maybe I made those numbers up to, but seriously though, viewer participation is at its lowest since the great non-posting of '03. I think the "evryone's on the computer" age is dwindling rapidly. Fewer and fewer ppl get on IM, a sign that they are doing things other than IMing. Some ppl would say this is good, others might say that opposite. The so-called 'blog/xanga fad' is also shrinking to a close, replaced by the more-confusing-and-just-as-useless-but-not-as-cool myspace. In short the 'cyber world' is quickly and rapidly declining; degrading in value, use, and practicality as we speak.

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So the primary point of this post isn't to say "computer nerds of the world, unite!" Although I do wish more ppl would come back to using IM and the like ('cause since I don't [almost] evr get invited to do stuff, I like to keep in touch w/ ppl somehow). One point of this post (or the previous paragraph) is to pretty much make fun of the media of now-a-days. You know, using vague polls that happen to show the data they want, exaggerating things to make things seem worse than they are, say things that are obvious and useless, using only their predjudice and not showing "both sides of the picture" as-it-were, and generally just looking at the bad side of evrything.

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So there's my two cents, take it or leave it. Speaking of which, I found two pennys on the break-room floor the other day.

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Oh, and Happy Valentines Day or SAD day, whichevr applies to you.

books-a-million and a half

It's snowing! It's like, a blizzard... well, a blizzard for Madison that is. The stuff's comin' down right nice though; and it's stickin' too. Of course, on the roads and pavement it's all melting on contact, but the temps supposed to drop to somethin' like 25 degrees. So pretty much all that's melting is more likely than not going to be a thin layer of ice in the morning. And if it don't stop snowing, it's going to be a snow covered thin layer of ice... awesome. I love winter precip. Well, I like snow anyway... except it's always cold when it's snowing. You win some you lose some, I guess. I want to just sit outside and watch it fall. It's always so quiet when it's snowing.

This is coffee/hot chocolate/hot tea weather if there ever was some.

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In other news: the world is still spinning and global warming is a buch of bologna.

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In news other than the other news: the new Pink Panther movie is a'ight. It had some funny scenes, and had an ok plot-line, but some of it was a little overdone. I give it a "C" [average] overall. Not bad, but I'll nvr see it again.

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If you were thinkin' I'd put another "In other news-- etc" thing, well, you were half right 'cause I actually typed it w/o actually putting up another one.

Gah, I'm like, high. I had toooo much sugar today. Three cups of Coke, one cup of Diet Coke (that one don't count for the energy quota), two cookies (1 oatmeal raisin, 1 white chocolate macadamia nut), pear cobler (w/ ice cream), ((I almost got some skittles)), and then a vanilla latte... mmm. And I didn't have breakfast or lunch and only a scanty dinner. I pretty much feel like I'm going to pass out, but that's ok! So I'm wrappin' this up in case I do.

391st post

Somehow I ended up putting more posts on my xanga than my blog yesterday. That's like... unheard of for me. I've never really been the fondest of xangas for some reason. Who knows. Anyway, the reason for the madness that overcame me is guns. I've finally found a good reason for my xanga's exsistance, and that is the posting of pictures and info of some of my favorite guns, along w/ cool ones I find. So you can go there by clicking on any word 'xanga' in this entire post.

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In other news:

Well, the only thing I can think of is the planning of the coolest camping trip evr for this spring break. [Hopefully] My spring break falls on evryone elses; it should, but ya never know. The plan is to go to Stella and [tent] camp out there for at least one night. While we're up there we're soo going to play some airsoft too, of course. We'll have to pack like, tons of extra batteries. And the auto electric rifles will only be good for like, one day, unless we find a random power source in the wilderness. But anyways. That should be fun if it comes to fruition.

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that's all for now

have fun guys

be safe

don't hurt yourselves

AAAA, American Airsoft Association of America

"Gah! No spawn killing, man. I was still reloading!"

so this is how it is

My problem is I don't take the time sometimes to get to know people. Sometimes I look too hard and totally miss what's in front of me. Sometimes I'm looking so hard for something to happen that I ignore the obvious or don't try to investigate just so I can find what I think I'm looking for. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for anything offensive I've said. I'm sorry for any false conclusions I've come to. I'm sorry for any feelings I've hurt. I'm sorry for misleading people, even though I might not have intentionally, I did inadvertantly because of my own stupidity. In short, I'm pretty much sorry for evrything. All I ask now is that anyone I may have, hurt/offendend/etc that they forgive my being so dumb (yes, I am dumb, so don't argue).

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That's all for now. I'll try to be better observant and not jump to conclusions.

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I broke my own rule... never assume, 'cause we all know what that does.

If I had just one bullet, I'd tell you what I'd do...

of if's, but's, and maybe's

So yeah, right now I'm at one of those points that I'm not sure whether to be happy or depressed. I've got plenty to be either. Maybe at least some of the depressing stuff can get worked out 'cause I'm tired of having to deal w/ things. Some, if not most, of it is my fault; in which case I guess I brought it on myself. If not then,... I don't know. I'll try to be happy and make the most of it. Hopefully it won't all end w/ my putting a bullet in my head or something drastic like that; that'd be kinda anti-climatic.

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don't you (know)
i can't tell you how to make it (go)
no matter what i do, how hard i (try)
i can't seem to convince myself (why)
i'm stuck on the outside
i can't hold on
(to what i want when i'm stretched so thin)
it's all to much to take in
i can't hold on
(to anything watching evrything spin)
with thoughts of failure sinking in
~linkin park, by myself [one of my favorite songs]
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and i
just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
~linkin park, My_DSMBR (my december)
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Well, with the frozenness outside, and linkin park in my head, I think the depressed-ness in my brain is winning over the happiness. Not to say that freezing temps are bad, and definitely not to say that I don't like Linkin Park, 'cause I've always found their lyrics very... applicable... to situations; I love 'em. But either way, maybe I'll feel better tomorrow w/ a couple hours sleep and school to take my mind off stuff... or then again maybe not. I have like two or three or four people that want or need to talk to me; maybe tomorrow won't turn out too bad.

what to do

I hate hating people, but some just don't give you a choice. There are thankfully only two that are really getting on my nerves. It's all very frustrating. Both have been really good friends in the past but, unfortunately, friendships fall apart. One is just rather annoying and should, for lack of better termanology, grow up. He/she (not applying gender here) is too caught up in dragging attention from other people and 'looking cool' or whatever you want to call it, that he/she sacrifices friendships w/ his/her boastfulness and arrogance and the like. The other, also, seemingly possesses that same 'center-of-attention' personality. But he/she goes about it differently, as in, stabbing in the back whoevr he/she needs to to meet his/her ends, be it friends, enemies or just some unsuspecting pawn. The lie seems to have become his/her best skill, unfortunately.
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All that to say that sometimes life sucks. Sometimes those people you hung out w/ all that time turn out to be the people that you try to avoid at all costs.
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I try to be friendly toward them, but it takes alot to keep a smile on when I'm talking to either of them. I would wish away the quarrels w/ them if I could, but just wishing can't help. And, I fear, confronting either w/ what they've done, whether they did it in ignorance or on purpose, would end up a disaster.
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Now don't take this post wrong. I'm not trying to make myself out as some super awesome guy that should be idolized and followed by all. I have many times over the years, been a crappy friend and ignored or hurt people I loved and cared about. I've tried my best each time to make it up and so far it seems like it's gone pretty good. I can't see into evryone's minds to find out whether they really hate me or not. If there's something that I've done, have been doing, or otherwise, by all means I encourage you to tell me so that we can settle our differences.
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Well, that's all for now. That's just been something on my chest for awhile, so I thought now was as good a time as any.

lemme sum up some emotion for ya

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls
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And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
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And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
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And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
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And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
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I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
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that's just a really good song. you should listen to it sometime: i think you'd like it.

on dvd feb. 7

Doom (the movie) is coming out on the 7th. I kinda want to see that movie just 'cause I've played the game (when Doom had first come out as a game). So I might rent it or something. Or maybe see if the library evr gets it into their stock.

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Wish me luck on my Bio test I'm about to leave to go do, btw. I think it should be easy, but I thought that that Cal quiz that I pretty much failed was going to be easy. So... yeah. I'll see when I get there.