of if's, but's, and maybe's

So yeah, right now I'm at one of those points that I'm not sure whether to be happy or depressed. I've got plenty to be either. Maybe at least some of the depressing stuff can get worked out 'cause I'm tired of having to deal w/ things. Some, if not most, of it is my fault; in which case I guess I brought it on myself. If not then,... I don't know. I'll try to be happy and make the most of it. Hopefully it won't all end w/ my putting a bullet in my head or something drastic like that; that'd be kinda anti-climatic.

.
don't you (know)
i can't tell you how to make it (go)
no matter what i do, how hard i (try)
i can't seem to convince myself (why)
i'm stuck on the outside
i can't hold on
(to what i want when i'm stretched so thin)
it's all to much to take in
i can't hold on
(to anything watching evrything spin)
with thoughts of failure sinking in
~linkin park, by myself [one of my favorite songs]
.
and i
just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didn't feel like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
~linkin park, My_DSMBR (my december)
.

Well, with the frozenness outside, and linkin park in my head, I think the depressed-ness in my brain is winning over the happiness. Not to say that freezing temps are bad, and definitely not to say that I don't like Linkin Park, 'cause I've always found their lyrics very... applicable... to situations; I love 'em. But either way, maybe I'll feel better tomorrow w/ a couple hours sleep and school to take my mind off stuff... or then again maybe not. I have like two or three or four people that want or need to talk to me; maybe tomorrow won't turn out too bad.